I have come to realize that I can never be too happy for a long time. Life has its way of keeping me down; by giving me sadness when I need it. It may not be obvious, but people need sadness because that is what makes them reflect and forgive; appreciate and cry; and most importantly, pray.
Not saying that we have to pray only when we are in need and desperate for miracles, no.. But, falling down from your throne is surely a way to bring you back to where you belong. On the ground, prostrating to worship Him.
I'm sad, and happy, and sad, and it is pretty much a mess inside my head right now. However, it is okay. It is okay not to be okay. And not being okay just means that I am a step closer to being okay. Life has its ups and downs. When you hit rock bottom, you can't fall any deeper. You rise. You climb up.
I hate how some things turned out in the past few weeks. Or months. I let my anger, ego, and this tiny little bitchy side of me win a lot of arguments and fights, and it is not cool. At least, not to me. I have changed.
I don't regret it at all, though. I regret the parts where I hurt people, but I guess it is a cycle after all. What you give, you get back. I strongly believe in that. God is Fair. I can't help but feel terrible, though. Therefore, I have forgiven people who hurt me in the past. While hurting me, I'm sure that they themselves were hurt just as bad.
It is okay. It is going to be okay.
Trust me on this.
